Twilight, Our Hero

     We down Twilight all the time, their actors, actresses, plots, couple choices, point, all of it, we don’t like it. But instead, we should thank them.

     They have entertained us more than anything else has, just not in the way they wanted to. They have entertained us by being the brunt of most of our jokes.

     We create whole Pinterest boards bashing them. We now know how not to write a love story, or be in a love story, or be near a love story. We know what wannabe vampires and werewolves look like now. We know all of the faces or none of the faces of Kristen Stewart now. We know Robert Pattinson had better face time in one Harry Potter movie than the four Twilight movies. And we know Taylor Lautner more for his abs then his acting now.

     But most of all we learned:

     Vampires are just plain nice. They even sparkle!

     It’s romantic, not creepy when grown men sneak into your bedroom and watch you sleep.

     It’s okay to drown yourself so your boyfriend will finally want to spend more than five minutes with you.

     If you don’t get the girl, just wait for her daughter.

     Babies can kill you, not with sleep depravity, but good ole beating you up from the inside out.

     Bad guys will leave you alone, if you tell them what could happen if they don’t.

     And finally, showing no emotion while your life goes crazy, ends, and comes back is always the proper       emotion.

     

     So, as you see, we should thank them for the endless entertaining material they have provided us for years to come, and if you don’t want to thank them for that, thank them for the great advice their story provides. (P.s. I just lost all faith in humanity.)